Can't Make Change? It Is Probably Your Fault

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Mark starts by indicating that it is hard to sell change. We decide to talk about one idea. The idea is "Bridging legacy apps to new apps instead of big bang releases." Proposals have been written, attempts have been made but things seem to fall flat. There is friction against it.

One thought against is that it cannot be done effectively. Also that legacy code can't be read (there may be validity there). The platform can't be supported. These are all arguments being presented.

But Mark has reasons that make it worth doing.

The biggest obstacle is a product manager. What Mark views as valuable the product manager does not.

Question: Do you feel or know that he sees any value at all?

Mark indicates that there was a major push, even involving a consultant, and it was presented to the product manager but it didn't work.

Question: What is the strategy for winning that you had?

To show low risk and how easy it would be to implement the change.

There was an idea about the mental state and a plan to overcome the mental state. Was the product manager asked if his model was accurate?

There are issues with the product manager saying one thing and doing another. Real answers are not often given.

Question: Have you shared that concern with him?

No.

Statement: People do not like to be confronted with those aspects. However there is value in stating the aspects and letting it sit. They will often defend the aspect but it will still marinate.

It doesn't seem like this is about Mark's boss, but about Mark. Mark can say I have a problem and that I don't feel what you are telling me is what you genuinely think. Mark has also withheld his opinion from him (though Mark is confrontational).

As you use the "I" language you are not confronting a person you are expressing something you feel to be going on.

We have a situation where two people aren't sharing themselves honestly. "They may have to break up." :-)

You have a judgement and rather than share that with him you are indirectly trying to let him know.

Mark has a feeling where if you put all your cards on the table at once you are out of plays. It feels like the blunt person always loses. This feeling is shared by others.

"I'm not sharing my full reasons. I am going to withhold something so that I still have a move to make later."

If you don't trust that they are giving you an honest hearing then there may have to come another confrontation.

A member shares that their spouse and themselves often get shut down when recommending change because they may be too blunt. They have started to back off and be a bit more accepting of when people aren't ready.

Question: If you have the thought that they are not ready do you share that with them?

There appears to be a pattern of people withholding their views and then trying to outflank others. There is more getting withheld (opinions) because we are not always confident that we are right. Maybe the other person's idea would work. In the past, our ideas felt more right and obvious to work.